God; user of the Unlikely

The last few months it has been striking me, in a rather encouraging way, that the Lord likes -maybe I should even say prefers to use the least likely people & circumstances to accomplish His will. I can think of 2 reasons as to why He works like this…first & foremost for His glory & secondly to increase our faith, to separate His people from those who are simply satisfied to accept the common, believe in the mundane & follow the crowd.

The Old Testament is teeming with examples that display this aspect of God; it was Able, then Seth, the younger brothers who found favor with the Lord; Sarai didn’t have children until she was a senior; Jacob (the younger brother) was the one whose sons founded Israel, and of those brothers it was Joseph (the youngest, from a slave to a ruler) through whom God chose to save His people during times of famine. When Jehovah led His people out of Egypt it was through a sea! When they entered the Promised Land it was during the flood season that they crossed the Jordan River. Need I mention the collapse of Jericho & Rahab’s involvement? The downsizing of Gideon’s army? The choosing of David as king? (the youngest bother in a family of shepherds); That it was King David’s underhanded dealings with Bathsheba & her husband through whom came King Solomon & later the Messiah? In the New Testament, Jesus continues with the theme from the start; conceived of an unmarried virgin, hanging out with tax collectors & prostitutes, the unwanted –the unlikely & shunning the Jewish religious authority of the time.

In fact, the only time I can recall when God chose the most likely “path” to unfold was when Saul was anointed as king over Israel. When the time of judges came to an end, the people of Israel cried out for a king –to be like the other nations. 1Samuel 9:1-2 says of Saul, “There was a Benjamite, a man of standing, whose name was Kish son of Abiel, the son of Zeror, the son of Becorath, the son of Aphiah of Benjamin. He had a son names Saul, an impressive young man without equal among the Israelites –a head taller than any of the others.” Saul was handsome, the eldest & impressive. Yet, what disaster that ended in!

I think that sometimes we, as Christians, forget that God truly does choose & use the unlikely. We get caught up in the lies that we hear…& the lies we tell & perpetuate about ourselves….that we don’t have enough time, money, energy, we’ll be thought of as crazy, we’ll lose friends, etc. if we should choose to follow the promptings from the Holy Spirit. We must keep focused that those are lies, not what the word of God tells us. If He prompts us to do something, it must be because He has a plan. We forget that obedience is key to spiritual growth. We get so wrapped up in being discouraged, isolated & busy, our focus is so inward that we end up missing the point for much of our spiritual journey.

I know for myself this is true, I am learning to have confidence in Him, not in me. I am not outgoing, well-spoken or particularly attractive. I don’t have extra money, resources or time. I have no high-up connections or otherwise areas of acclaim or expertise. YET, Christ is showing me that I need to step out & follow. It’s not about me; it’s about what He wants to do through me! Whether that be to pray with the person with whom He prompts me to pray or do whatever it is he is asking me to do. The latest in this adventure has been an application I sent out a couple of weeks ago to an organization that aids persecuted Christians. I have applied to be a spokesperson for this organization in my area. Do I feel adequate? Absolutely no! Am I quaking inside? Positively. Do I believe that He has a plan and that this is a cause that truly awareness needs to be raised for? Yes! So, I am trying to plunk along & follow Him….and leave the results up to Him –regardless of what happens.

In the eye of Hurricane Life

Life keeps going by at a dizzying speed. Clean, school, cook, activities, making time for husband & each child, reading -it’s a hurricane, but one I am slowly learning to manage. I am The Queen of Unfulfilled Schedules. I don’t know how many chore, allowance, homeschool or other types of charts, schedules & Excel spreadsheets I have made in the past few years. I want something that works, so I am constantly improving, seeing what doesn’t work, what does & trying to make those changes. Unfortunately that makes for a lot of failed attempts. Although I have tried quite a few good ideas, I have found that their doom lies in the inconsistency I get sleep-wise. Now that Jana is 19 mos. & sleeping through the night, I feel like I am finally making headway & able to try again –for real this time :)

 

My biggest challenge has always been keeping things clean. This is compounded by living in 40yr. old house (that  has been under constant renovation since we moved in 5 years ago), having 1 decrepit bathroom that never looks like you clean it  even if you do & the fact that I really wasn’t taught how to keep house in my younger years. Keep house?? What, are you from the 40’s? Well no -maybe the title of Home Manager sounds a little more modern -& applicable too. I recently read the book “Large Family Logistics” by Kim Brenneman. Although I disagree with some of what she has said, I have found a lot of wisdom in this book. One of the things said that struck me was that during the launch of the feminine movement women were so busy exploring their new freedoms that they never learned how to do the basics –keep a household running smoothly, particularly with a large family.  I tend to think that there is an element of truth to this. Mind you a lot more women work outside the home now, therefore creating a whole new dynamic in the division of labour & expectations. That being said, I also know a number of women who really do seem to be on the ball and have a handle on the whole home management thing. I know for myself, I feel like I am forever playing a loosing game of whack-a-mole. My goal isn’t to have a clean house all the time or laundry that’s ironed to a tee or bookshelves that are dust free. My goals lie in what having a house that is somewhat managed allow me to do –it frees me of some stress, wasting time, bugging my kids & husband to do things, allows me to have people over more frequently & hopefully get out of the house more often! I also hope it serves in an unspoken way to let my husband know I love him & appreciate how he gets up early every morning and busts his tail at work for us as well as to give him a place he can relax..

Back to the book. I have been roughly what Kim Brenneman suggests, but in her book she just defined things for me.  She assigns each day a major task, breaking it down into manageable little tasks. Sounds simple. It really worked for me thus far –all of 3 days! The key is not to get distracted, something I think we all struggle with. It’s been good, because being wired to be task oriented as I am I am so busy trying to check off this list that I don’t have time to spend checking my emails excessively, or FB-ing or even snacking….

The way I tend to implement things in our home is that I have an expectation that everyone will be involved, I have a plan of attack so to speak & I delegate & talk with both the kids and John about things (You can see on the chore list below there are things even Ally -5- can do). It’s unreasonable to expect that I alone will be responsible for everything. I have also found meal planning (particularly crockpots!) SO helpful & cost effective. Menu planning as well. I know a lot of these things are common, but they really do work!

Something else that this book hit home with was the way I interact and teach my kids. Is my short words, my temper honoring to God & my family? If I am lazy, slovenly or disrespectful to my kids or their dad they will see that & emulate that behaviour. Well, the book doesn’t actually say that but it got me thinking Most of the time, no. I really got off track with teaching them, my goals need to be character development primarily, knowledge second. 

It was really motivating to hear that she can get all her kids up & going & helping! Surely I can do it with mine! As a Christian women, I recognize that my husband is the leader in our household (although we are equals) but just as important is that I am a leader in the area of home management; of my kids during the day, of finances, of things getting done. I set the tone for the day & when he gets home. In the past week and a half I've started getting up early with John so I can be properly prepared for the day and am finding it's making a huge difference. Anyways, it is Wednesday, & I started on Monday, so we’ll see how things go for the next couple of weeks!

Here are some of websites that I have found to be resourceful in a number of areas:

Large Family Logistics website

Duggar Family Homepage

Allrecipes.com 

Beauty...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ezLzRRsBeUA&feature=related 

 This video really hit home for me. It reminded me of the bubble we in the west especially live in. I don’t even think I know the cultural depths, that the importance of appearance & what one has to attribute to that appearance runs. It has always bothered me. It is true that God does look at the heart and judges it within. Why is so difficult for us?

 Satan has done a very good job in keeping Christians in the west pre-occupied with appearance. I believe that we need to take care of ourselves and present ourselves well, but to what extent? If our life mission is to see His Kingdom come we should be pouring our resources into that -not us. Sacrifice is required. It’s so easy to become us-focused.

More to the women out there.......

 The amount we, as women spend on hair, nails, tanning, spa treatments, new clothes, shoes and accessories is more than likely a great deal more than what the average Christian woman tithes. Or gives to the poor, or gives to supporting indigenous missionaries in other countries. We have forgotten that the true thing that sets us apart is supposed to be our willingness to give up ourselves, our pride in our appearance and replace that with true reliance on our King.

  In 1 Peter 3:1-6 it says, “Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behaviour of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewellery and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For in this way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear. “

Wow, what an anti-cultural message. I can just see people cringing. 

First of all, be submissive? What? Calling your husband a master? That sounds so derogatory, how will I get respect if I submit? What if my husband walks all over me? Phil 2:5, “Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus who.......made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death –even death on a cross!” Yes, not being a doormat, but healthy submission is Christlike. After all, our goal is to be more like Christ, right? Not more respected or being a right-fighter.  As women, we often forget our  true identity lies in Christ.

 Secondly, I have heard that as long as women don’t rely on the “braided hair and the wearing of gold jewellery and fine clothes” but still wear them anyways with that awareness it’s ok. Don’t get me wrong here, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with getting a fashionable haircut or earrings or clothes that don’t have holes in them is wrong. My point is that when the money we spend and the time we spend obtaining these things superceeds the time we spend devoting ourselves to the work of Christ, to time in prayer, to volunteering, to pouring ourselves out for His causes than there’s a problem. When we justify spending obscene amount of money on clothing yet hundreds of thousands are starving from famine as is the case right now in the African Horn countries right now I have a problem with that. And I think if you look at how Jesus asks us to live our lives He does to.  I think we believe the lie that the $100 or the $50 won’t make a difference but it does. We also believe the lie that we can’t feel free to share our faith if we don’t look a certain way. We have forgotten about reliance on the Holy Spirit.  As ambassadors of Christ our job is to point people to Christ through the power of His Holy Spirit and we don’t need to be looking our best to do that.

The next bit of this passage is one I have a problem with. Those of you who know me will know that I am neither quiet or gentle. I have struggled with this for a long time and I have come to accept that Christ has not made me that way for a reason. I think that this gentle and quiet spirit that this passage talks about is again being able to emulate the attitude of Christ. To be in consistant prayer and in the habit of spending good, regular time with Jesus. From this I discover I am not so harsh, judging and my words are more constructive, not destructive. I am more loving and relational to people; I don’t take offense so easily, my walls don’t go up as fast, I am more quick to forgive.  I am more open to the promptings of the Spirit. Please bear in mind that reading this that I have not done any studies or the like on this passage, it’s simply the conclusion I have come to based on my time with my maker. I could, and probably am, missing out on things.

So, an offensive blog? Probably to some. I find that if I offend no one I am usually off the mark in what I have written. 

Sarah & Abraham

The tapestry from underneath

It has been said that our lives, as messy, unpredictable and downright ugly as they can get at times are to be viewed like the underside of a tapestry. Although seemingly senseless when viewed from the underside, when one has the proper perspective & looks down on it from above a beautiful picture is slowly being weaved. All it takes is the right perspective.

Such I tell myself when I think on my life. When I turned 19, my life looked as such; I wasn’t wanting to ever have kids or marry but to work as a missionary in Russia. A marriage, 6 moves & 2 kids in 3 years, an abusive husband and then a divorce, going to school full-time while being an unsupported single mother and remarrying within 2 years only to deal with many other issues in my current marriage I won’t mention here and having to deal with my x-husband being in and out of my daughters lives while having 2 more girls weren’t exactly what I signed up for. Whew. What a horrible, run-on sentence.

So what did I sign up for? Simply, I signed up to be a servant of Christ. I’ve heard that the term “slave” is actually more of an accurate translation –however we veer away from that don’t we? Slave has a poor connotation –one associated with with lowliness and not a trace of pride. So, I signed up to be a slave to Jesus, to be willing, all the days of my life to be transformed one tiny bit at a time into His likeness for His glory, to further His Kingdom –not my own. And I have learned to trust that He knows what circumstances in my life are needed to effect that change.

I understand that some of where I am at is due to simple actions & consequences however I have had a lot more thrown at me than that. All to make me in the image of Christ. And, looking back, I am beginning to see things from the upside. Not that all is behind me, but that I am starting to see things really from a Heavenly perspective and have Romans 8:28 in me, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose.”

I am starting to see that I can relate to those who are alone and broken and going through “stuff” in their lives. And I am beginning to love it. In Matthew 5:14-15 the Bible says, “You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand and it gives light to everyone in the house.” I as a sinner saved by grace, want to be that light to our world. It’s a dark, hopeless place. The people I find I am drawn to are not wealthy or have everything in order, but Jesus came for the sick, not the healthy. It’s truly amazing how much I have changed.

I still believe the Lord has put a calling on my life & on John’s life. The past year has been a testament to the power of listening to the Lord’s timing and being patient for Him. Last Sept, I started homeschooling Eva & Grace. At this point they were with their dad & step-mom half the time and she did half the schooling.  A couple of times throughout the year circumstances arose at which I had good, legit grounds to  take my x-husband to court and attain primary care of the girls again. It would have been much better for them as things were rough at their other house but I didn’t have His Peace with doing that. So I trusted & waited and missed them more and more. Then this past July circumstances with my x-husband changed and the girls have been living with me since July 11. Their father has also willingly signed over full custody to me. I am so thankful I waited on Him to be my deliverer. I literally have had the girls given to me. How beautiful.  It has also taught be powerful lessons in praying for those who oppose me and forgiveness. It’s also taught me a lot about having a Jesus attitude.

Since the end of winter I have felt that the “winds of change” as I call them are with us. I don’t know what that means or how it will affect us, but I can’t help if this change with Grace & Eva coming to live with us full-time is part of that. All know is that John and I are willing to go where He will lead.